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Around New Year, I made a conscious and considered decision that 2012 was going to be MY year to achieve some of my personal goals. What makes this year different to the last 6?
Like many women I have been carrying far more weight around than I wanted to, than my skeletal frame was engineered to carry, and it limited me in ways that had increasing negative impact on my life, on work, on health and on me. The increasing girth was both a punishment to myself and a wall to hide behind; based on how I subconsciously saw myself. Where did I get this “impression”? I based this wholly on how someone ELSE treated me. They didn’t want to spend time with me, therefore I must be ugly and unwantable.
ERROR 1: My self esteem was a reflection of someone’s behaviour towards me. Did I feel loved? NO!! Then I must be unlovable. I took that message in, and my brain lived that in how I presented. I became so weighed down, emotionally and literally, that I dreaded being seen in public or attending anything social. My life and world closed down. All my excuses were believable, and excusable. After all my life IS busy. But they were JUST excuses.
ERROR 2: Just because someone YOU love rejects you, this does not mean everyone will. By burying myself under visually off-putting layers of fat, it also walled me off from having to risk my heart and soul again. Men are visual creatures. being vastly overweight guarantees I become invisible. It reinforces the fact my subconscious has already picked up that I am unlovable. I mean when the person who claims they love you and will always be there for you, leaves and immediately finds a replacement, what does that tell you about how much they loved you? Simply, their rejection reflects badly on THEM, not you. I did not need to take this on.
THE DOORWAY OUT:
- A REALISATION: Someone had to love me. Instead of seeking to find that mirror and love outside of me, in another person, what if I began this year with a determination to love, nourish and care for myself the way I do automatically for those I love? What if I put myself higher on that list of subconscious and trained priorities I have? It does not mean I will let anyone else down, it just means I am being a better and wholistic example to them. It also means I have more to give. And that is what I have been doing.
- AFFIRMATION: Every morning immediately after waking, I wander into the bathroom to splash water on my face. I look into the mirror, into my own eyes and I say OUT LOUD – “I love and accept you exactly as you are right at this moment. Beginning right now, I love you enough to give your body the care it needs and make choices that will support and help everything you do today. I LOVE YOU!” It felt strange the first few times, but in truth what could be more natural?
- SET SOME GOALS. Firstly I decided that I would go out socially once a month NOT with family. Every month. Without fail. Secondly I decided that by Christmas 2012 I would be living in the bodily vehicle I was proud of. At this point I had no idea HOW I would go about doing that but this was THE very start of the journey for me. I gave myself permission to do this. “There’s not telling what you can do when you get inspired by them. There’s no telling what you can do when you believe in them. There’s no telling what will happen when you act upon them.” ~Jim Rohn
- DOORS OPEN. I went looking to research how to go about this and by simply putting my goals “out there” in the course of searching for the best method, I found myself open to that quiet voice inside that resonates like an echo when something feels “right”. There are a hundred businesses out there promising lifelong transformation change at a huge cost – but they are businesses. They are established to make money. All of these systems work for 14 – 24 – a year or two, but keep the person tie to the system. And in looking I happened across someone giving the tools FREE. Nothing can be lost by checking it out – right?
- DECISION TIME.
- Do your research,
- read what they say,
- read testimonials,
- look at what they have to gain from this,
- listen to your quiet inner voice
- work out what you have to give up to achieve using each method
- work out the costs – financial, time, physical effort
BEGIN.
I looked at my life and choices so far and did not like what I saw.
WATERSHED> Time to change.
I followed all the steps above and made a decision, and COMMITTED to follow through NO MATTER WHAT for one month only.
I began this journey January 4 2012.
After 1 month, the results in every possible way were so astounding that it was far far easier to commit further.
“What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.” ~ Zig Ziglar
Over a very short amount of time I have realised that within myself I have everything I need to be whole.
My self worth is not based on what anyone else thinks or feels – no matter how much I love them. My relationships with everyone I choose to keep in my life have likewise been transformed for the better. My body has likewise transformed.
I am only, so far, one quarter of the way into this year.
I am so excited with the beginning of each and every new day.
I have asked myself that question as I have watched the scale registering ever and increasingly smaller numbers and I am donating entire sizes of clothing to charity collection bins – averaging a size for approximately a month currently, although for a while there at the beginning it was a size down every two weeks.
The tape measure, applied once a week to bust, waist, upper arm, hips and thighs (4″ above knee, and 8″ above knee) shows considerable inch losses as well.
What registers now on the scale is of less importance. How clothes fit me, and how my body and mind perform has become proportionately more important.
What makes THIS year different? Why now? My goals have been the same every year for the past 6. So why, now, is it coming together???
“First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.” ~ Epictetus
“This one step – choosing a goal and sticking to it – changes everything.” ~ Scott Reed
THE FORMULA
What is working for me:
- I chose my goal
- I chose a method
- I assessed what price I would pay personally.
- I ACCEPTED the price
- I committed to my method
- I found like-minded souls and became part of a group who understood my efforts and goals and supported them
- I chose starting date.
- I BEGAN. I took action.
- I tracked all aspects daily, recorded and reported these. I made myself accountable.
- I measured progress and reported weekly and monthly
- I CONTINUED no matter what
- I began knocking my sub-goals off one by one in what seemed like no time at all.
- And here I am.
This encourages me because I KNOW if I can do it, anyone can IF THEY COMMIT and follow through with ACTION.
It works for any sort of goal. It is THE winning formula.
I know, because I have tried and proven it. I am my own experiment.